the chase is always better than the catch

I've said it before, I'll said it again. The chase is always better than the catch.

Whether they're willing to admit it or not- girls love the chase. They love guys chasing after them and they love chasing after the guys, too. "That's the best part of liking someone," a 21-year-old Towson female says. "It's fun whenever a guy plays hard to get and it's fun playing hard to get towards a guy. Once the chase is over and you actually catch them, well, it gets kind of boring."

Sad, but true. I'd have to agree with her. Once you get what you want, you don't really want it anymore.

Guys are the same way. Guys love chasing girls, multiple girls at one time. They love to think that a girl is just out of their reach and if they push a bit harder, they can catch her. However, once a girl becomes too interested in them, they lose interest.

My advice to both girls and guys: if you want to keep someone interested, don't act interested.

Breaking up is hard to do

With the semester coming to an end and many students preparing to graduate and go down their own road, a lot of changes begin to uproar. Relationships usually end, it's tough to make things work if you want two separate things.


For example, my roommate and her boyfriend met here at Towson University and have been dating for 2 years. With both of them being seniors, Emily plans to move to New York City for an internship and Sean plans to move to D.C. for a job. They want to stay together- but they feel their new lives will slowly drift them apart.

Relationships are hard work, especially when both people in that relationship are trying to establish their life. The only advice I can give to my roommate and her boyfriend- or anyone in this situation is do what makes you happy until it doesn't make you happy anymore. If it doesn't work out, odds are things will turn out the way it's supposed to.

Meeting someone in a bar part II

After bringing the topic of bar hopping and relationships to the table, it made me wonder whether this habit is a positive or negative one. I think the key thing to remember in this scenario is it's all about confidence. I can't personally say whether it's a good or a bad idea to meet someone in bar because it depends on the situation and the person.

I asked a couple college girls on they're opinion of meeting a guy at a bar. All of them said the only thing you will get from meeting a guy at a bar is a one-night stand. However, some girls are into that.

I asked a couple college males on their take on meeting a girl in a bar. Most of them said it's very unlikely to meet a girl at a bar that will turn into a relationship. One in particular said, "girls only go to the bar for one reason.. to dance. And they dance very slutty. No guy in their right mind would think, 'yeah, that's what I want my next girlfriend to be like.'"

Meeting someone in a bar

It's a Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday (pick a day of the week) night on a college campus. The odds are, you're most likely going to a bar to drink. But are you really going to a bar to JUST drink? Probably not. Odds are you're going to a bar to possibly meet someone. The question is: WHY? Do people honestly think they're going to meet their future husband or wife in a drunken, sweaty grinding session at the local college pub? Not so hot, in my opinion.

What I can say, is that most people let their walls down and like to flirt while they are at the bar. The tease and the attention makes breaking the ice a bit easier. However, I can't see "combing the bars" to look for someone who shares your interests... especially if you're not a bar person (like myself). In my opinion, you don't know if you're talking to the actual person's real personality, or the alcohol in their system.

If you are looking for a serious relationship, don't venture to a college bar to find one. Now if you're looking for a one-night stand or someone to distract your lonliness, a college bar is the ticket.

Girls <3 the jerks

Every day, my male friends complain to me that girls always like jerks. So I decided to interview one in particular who has told me this multiple times. This interview is between myself and my friend, Jimi Payne, a senior at Towson University. This is his personal outlook on girls, relationships and dating.

1. What type of girl do you prefer to date?
A: I prefer to date girls that have an outgoing and friendly personality. I would be lying if I said I like dating pretty girls, what boy doesn't? However, brains count a lot for me because if the girl can't hold an intelligent conversation, then I lose interest mentally and it becomes just a physical attraction. I like pretty eyes and smile. I am attracted to all "flavors" of women, but I do have a little bit of yellow fever (haha).

2. What's the difference in dating a "nice" girl or a "bad" girl? (we know there's a difference)
A: You date a nice girl and wait until she is ready to get physical. You hang out and hook up with a bad girl. The hard part is figuring out if she is nice or bad before getting emotionally involved. Girls can be sneaky, especially beautiful ones because they know they can get away with things due to their looks.

3. Why do you think girls always go for the jerks?
A: Jerks tell girls what they want to hear and girls fall for it. I also think girls like the challenge of changing a guy or making him fall in love, which rarely happens and we guys know it. Jerks have "game," so it's easy for them to play girls. Girls also have a bad habit of liking or going for boys with girlfriends, some boys take advantage of this situation. Women are confusing and complicated.

4. Do you think it pays off to be a nice guy? Or do nice guys always finish last?
A: It pays off to be a nice guy with a nice girl. Apart from that, Hell NO. Be a gentleman, but don't be a push over because most girls will use you or just take you for a ride and spend your money and leave your heart and wallet broke. I know this will sounds horrible, but most of the boys I know that are/were faithful to their girlfriends got cheated on or played in some way (I am one of them). The ones that cheated are going out with the same girl or have another steady girlfriend. So, yes, nice guys definitely finish last.

5. Would you consider yourself a "nice" guy?
A: I am a nice guy at heart, but it's broken now so I'm going to try this being a jerk thing for a while to see if I can find me a girl. In the end, my nice guy will come out.


Thanks Jimi!!

Male & Female: What's the difference?

Males and females have two completely different outlooks on relationships and dating. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a guy told me they don't understand girls, well, I wouldn't have a full-time job while in college, that's for sure. I asked a 23-year-old Towson University male about why they think girls and guys are so different when it comes to relationships. These were the main points that I got from him:


-Girls like to deal with situations a lot differently then guys do and different is hard for most guys to take.

-Girls approach situations in completely different manner then guys do which doesn't help either. If we all had the same outlook on situations it would make things easier, but less interesting.

-Most guys just want to get to the point and not have a huge discussion over a fight or a situation, where as a girl wants to involve their feelings, thoughts and go over the complete situation before coming to an conclusion.

-Girls remember details very differently than guys do, too which always plays a part in reconstructing a situation.

What's so great about a relationship, anyways?

Being in love is great. Butterflies, tingles, everything. But personally, I love my freedom... especially when in college! We have all the time in the world to be tied down, so why do we constantly push to find that special someone? I can't seem to understand why girls AND guys go on match.com when they're in college. I know a handful of college students who are on match.com- what is the rush?? Enjoy your single life, enjoy dating, enjoy your friends. You have all the time in the world to be in love and fight with your significant other all the time. Everyone knows the whole point of having a relationship in college is so you have someone to yell at when you're drunk. To me, that doesn't sound like a good enough reason to waste away the best four years of your life.

Dating or Relationship??

It seems to me that everytime a college couple moves from dating to being in a relationship... the romance dwindles. It recently happened to a friend of mine...and now that I think about it... it happened with my boyfriend and I, too. The more I think about it, the more I understand it. When you're dating someone, there are no rules, no expectations- just two people enjoying each other's company. Now when you actually put a title on your relationship, such as girlfriend and boyfriend, tension starts to arise. The couple has more expectations of one another and they feel as if they have authority of one another, too. And when that happens- the arguing begins!!

So, I'm curious- why don't couples just date instead of putting a title on their relationship? Why ruin the fun??

Are all girls crazy? A males opinion

Girls are crazy, so men say. Fine, but what makes us so crazy? Here are 6 reasons why college males say all girls are SO crazy:

1. They always think you're either cheating on them or lying to them- even when you're not!
2. They call you over and over until you answer the phone and send you mean text messages in between calls.
3. They get attached too quickly.
4. They always want to know where you are... AT ALL TIMES!
5. They do everything and anything to make you jealous.
6. They go through your phone- text messages, outgoing/incoming calls, EVERYTHING.

60 things girls need to know about guys

I came across this article on Facebook today and I thought it was hilarious and very true... 60 things girls need to know about guys

It's interesting and refreshing because it was written by two guys from London, so it is based on what guys want girls to know, rather than what girls THINK they know.

Let me know what you guys think...

The laid back girl

"Laid back girls are the best kind of girls." I can't tell you how many times I hear that statement come out of a males mouth. I decided it was time to set the record straight.

I asked 3 college guys what type of girls they liked and they all said a girl who's laid back: a girl who doesn't have a lot of attitude, agreeable, likes to hang out with the guys, doesn't start unnecessary drama, no high-maintenance, someone who rolls with the punches, someone who laughs at herself and most importantly.. "she knows when and when not to talk."

Compliments- not always complimenting

As girls, we love getting compliments... You have great hair, beautiful skin, sparkling eyes... we're suckers for that kind of BS. Guys, on the other hand, I'm not so sure about.

A good male friend of mine (22 years old) brought this question to my attention. He just recently started dating this girl and she constantly compliments him. "You're so hot, you've got a great body- great shoulders, great back." His reaction to these constant compliments was something like this, "JUST CHILL- I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT- YOU ARE TRYING TOO HARD, MY EGO IS BIG ENOUGH. YOU LOOK PATHETIC." Needless to say he didn't exactly handle the situation very well.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, complains that I don't compliment him enough. So I ask all you male readers out there... Compliments: friend or foe??

"There are some weird girls at this school"

This morning, I was eavesdropping on a few guys having a conversation in the Towson University Union. My attention was grabbed when one of them shouted, "There are some WEIRD girls at this school." He continued to tell his friends why he felt this way. He said that this one girl he was "hooking up" with said weird things to him that he didn't like. Such as, she text messaged him and said "I hope it rains tomorrow because I think you look sexy when you're all wet." The boy said- "I've only been seeing her for 2 weeks, I wouldn't even want my girlfriend of 2 years to say that to me."

His buddies laughed- but he continued his story. He went on to tell another story about a girl who told him that she never met a guy who hasn't been that interested in her and it was weird for her. "I told her to get used to it because if she keeps saying things like that to guys, it's going to become a endless cycle."

Juggling girls instead of apples

I had a conversation with my cousin, Tim last night. He never has a girlfriend, so I asked him if he was seeing anyone special lately. He responded with, "Well... I stopped texting Lauren, Britney got psycho and Nicole is too easy. So- nope, no one right now."

Speechless, I asked him- how do you think you can get away with talking to 3 girls at once? He replied, "Easy, I'm adorable and they're all in different sororities."

Though I do agree that he is adorable, I couldn't decipher the thought of all those poor girls looking like a fool at the same time. Why isn't one girl enough for a guy to get his female fix?

Do you use protection?

College students love to mix alcohol and sex. The two go hand and hand. So I'm curious- how often do college students use protection when having casual sex? I asked 5 girls and 5 boys if they would be interested in telling me how often they use protection. These were the results:

The Guys: 3 out of 5 of them say they ALWAYS use protection- drunk or sober. Their reasoning was they know too many friends who have caught STDs. Plus, they are nowhere close to ready to being a father. The other 2 said they rarely use protection when they're drunk, but almost always when they're sober. Their reasoning was they either forget or they just don't care.

The Girls: 4 out of 5 of them say they use protection every time they have sex, unless they are in a serious relationship. If they trust their boyfriend isn't cheating on them and they're on birth control, then they feel no reason why they should have to wear a condom. The 5th girl, however, admits that sometimes she doesn't use condoms- but only because she forgets to bring one.

HPV: Stop the Epidemic

Casual sex couldn't become more casual on college campuses. With students willing to be more sexually adventurous today, they forget the negative effects that can come along with their choices. Millions of college students are being infected by a STD called Human Papillomavirus (HPV). HPV is among the most contagious sexually transmitted diseases in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, an estimated 20 million people are currently infection with HPV.

Those people most at risk are high school and college students. The California Medical Association Foundation says that 60% of sexually active females are infected with HIV.

Because this number is so high and so many college students are sexually active, it's extremely important to follow the rules of safe sex. It's impossible for males to be tested for HPV so I have 3 words for you: Condoms, condoms, condoms!!!

STD Awareness Month

Did you know that April is STD Awareness Month? Probably not seeing as it's not the most exciting thing to celebrate. I'm not sure many cities or towns hold parades with condom floats rolling down the streets with people shouting "Yay! Herpes!"

While it's not the most fun thing to celebrate, STD awareness is very important.

During this time, the Iowa Department of Public Health (IDPH) is joining partners nationwide in a new campaign called Get Yourself Tested or "GYT." The campaigns intent is to use television and the Internet to help young people understand the risk of HIV and other STD's.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 19 million STD infections occur each year in the U.S. Of that number, almost half are diagnosed in young people ages 15 to 24.

My previous long distance relationship

When I first came to Towson as a freshman, I was in a relationship with someone from high school. He was still living at home in Pennsylvania- roughly an hour away from each other. No big deal, I thought.

The day after I left for college, he cheated on me. I didn't find out from him, but from a friend. OUCH. The worst part is that I decided to give him a second chance. Our relationship from there on out was a disaster. He didn't have any respect for me... and why should he? I let him get away with cheating on me. He never made any effort to visit me. I did all the traveling and I was the one in college- not him! Eventually, I became tired of being in a relationship that was one-sided.

By the end of my freshman year, I said goodbye to my love-addiction. We never spoke again, and it took me a very long time to realize that he was not worth everything I thought he once was.

My long distance relationship

While studying abroad in Australia last semester, I met a Canadian, Chad, who I fell for instantly. We were inseparable the entire 5 months I was abroad and saying good-bye was heartbreaking. I went to visit him in Toronto a few weeks after I got back from Australia and we decided that we wanted to give this relationship a try. 6 months later, we are still together and very happy. We take turns visiting each other once a month and we talk to each other many times a day. Though it's hard, I've never met someone more compatible for me and sometimes that's enough to hold on to.

Long distance relationships

It's hard enough to make local relationships work, but having miles, states and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here's how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.

1. Make sure you are both clear on what the terms are. If you don't want your boyfriend/girlfriend seeing other people, make sure you establish that from the start.

2. Communicate in some way every day. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection.

3. Take advantage of the benefits. Spend more time with your friends and family. No arguments over toothpaste caps or the seat being down. The pleasure of seeing your significant other again after a long absence. Most important, being apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality.

4. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference.

5. Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of long distance is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content.

6. Remember... things can only get better!

The rule of friends and ex's

There's an unspoken rule between girls that states you never date a friend's ex-boyfriend. So what happens when a friend breaks this rule?

Over Easter weekend, I found out that one of my friends asked my ex-boyfriend to take her to her sorority formal. She goes to school in Virginia my ex-boyfriend goes to school in Pennsylvania. When my ex-boyfriend told me he was going to take her to her formal over the weekend, I was shocked. Mainly because, well, they barely know each other and she didn't even have the decency to tell me herself.

Should I be angry at her for not asking my permission? Should I be angry at my ex-boyfriend for taking her? Should I be worried that there's something going on between them that I don't know about? All of these questions and thoughts controlled my mind all weekend and I still don't know how to react to this situation.

Yes, I have another boyfriend. I've moved on. Still, it's the principle... isn't it?

Good friends vs. romantic emotions

I have a conundrum for you.

It was my second semester at college. The first day of one of my classes, I met this guy, Zach. It was pretty obvious from the start that he had an enormous crush on me. But at the time, I had a boyfriend, Teddy. So obviously nothing magical was going to happen between us. A month or so later, Zach came with me to a bar. There he met my best friend, Jackie. The two hit it off immediately and were making out halfway into the night. A month later, they were inseparable. After they started dating, Teddy and I broke up. Zach found out and began asking me to hang out since we lived in the same dorm.

Once, Zach tried kissing me, I stopped him because, duh, he was dating my best friend. He told me he always liked me and Jackie was just a back-up. He broke up with Jackie and asked me out on a date. I wanted to say yes, but Jackie was heart-broken. Never again did I talk to Zach and Jackie and I are still best friends. Yet, I've always wondered what could have been...

So how do you decide when dating a friends x-boyfriend is acceptable or not??

You're turning down a date??

My roommate came home from a bar a few nights ago. She woke me up at 2:30 a.m. because she apparently had the craziest story to tell me. Thinking it was going to be a funny bar story, she tell ms that some guy came up to her at a bar, told her she was beautiful and that he would love to take her out to dinner sometime.

"I laughed in his face and walked away," she says.

Confused, I asked her why. She said she thought he was creepy and weird because he asked her out on an actual DATE.

"No one does that anymore," she says.

After I went back to sleep even more confused about dating than I already was... I realized... wow, girls might actually be worse than guys.

Drive of shame?

I went to a wedding this past weekend for one of my friends from high school. It was a beautiful wedding that ended with a headache the next morning. I woke up the next morning from a phone call from one of the bridesmaids. I could barely hear her because she was whispering and then I finally heard it: "Shh.. I can't talk loud. I'm in one of the groomsman's hotel rooms... which one? I have NO idea!" She wanted someone to talk to as she snuck out of the room, still in her bridesmaid's dress, and committing the "drive of shame" back to her house. Drive of shame... now that's a new one!