Stage 5 clinger

If you've ever seen the movie Wedding Crashers (if you haven't, you need to) then you know the saying "stage 5 clinger." Usually, males use this term to explain that a girl is "clingy" and becomes obsessed with them quickly. This includes constant calling, saying "I love you" too fast, always wanting to spend time with you, constant touching, etc.

Although, recently, I've been noticing a lot of my girlfriends saying their boyfriend or guy their dating is being too clingy. In my opinion, most girls want to date someone who is laid back, and I'm sure it's the same for guys. But when a guy becomes clingy too fast- it's probably the most unattractive quality they can have (from a girls perspective).

For example, my friend recently started dating this guy who she thought was "Mr. Perfect" until he began calling her all the time, holding her hand in public after only a few dates, and always wanting to hang out with her... even if she already has plans. YUCK!!

Here's my advice to both girls and guys: The more laid back you are in relationships, the better the chance you have of the relationship working out. If it doesn't work out- well it wasn't meant to be anyways... so chill out!

Just some basic relationship advice

I found this website today and I thought it was a great website for both males and females who are looking for relationship advice: Practical Happiness.

While I was searching through this site, I came across this video where a male is giving advice to other males about how to pick up girls in a bar. This related to my previous posts about meeting someone in a bar and I thought it was interesting to get a guy's perspective on how they pick girls up at a bar...

Timing is everythying part II

I'd like to share my own personal experience of having to deal with the issue of "timing" in one of my relationships. This issue is an important one to me because a lot of times, relationships end only because 2 people met at the wrong time in their life.

I met my previous boyfriend while I was studying abroad in Australia. When it was time to say good-bye, we decided to keep our relationship going. However, he is from Canada and he is 24. He got a full-time job in February and is ready to settle down with someone. I'm nearly 22 and about to graduate from college. I am nowhere ready to settle down and start my life with someone.

I met the man of my dreams. He treats me the way I've always felt I've deserved and he's willing to move to America for me and ONLY me. However, I'm not ready for that kind of commitment, therefore I had to end the relationship because we wanted different things. Will we work out in a few years down the road? Who knows, but the what-if game is pointless anyway.

I remember my dad always saying there comes a certain point in life where you want to settle down, and you will know when that time comes. The problem with that is, what if that time comes and the girl/guy for you is gone? I guess the counter to that would be if the person really was right for you... timing wouldn't matter.

Timing is everything

If you want to be in happy relationship, there's a lot you can do to control that outcome. Unfortunately, you cannot control everything. For example, you can't control your partner- what they want or how they feel. We've all heard the phrase "timing is everything," but what does this mean exactly?

This refers to circumstances in your relationship, what the two people within the relationship want at this specific time. For example, my roommate is moving to New York at the end of May, but her boyfriend of 2 years is moving to D.C. Though they want to be together, the timing is not right for their relationship because they both want different things right now.

After dating many different boys for the past 7 years, it is my firm belief, based on observation, that all things being equal, timing is the most important ingredient to determining your relationships potential. When you're walking on campus and you see couples around you, if you ever wonder why those 2 people are together, the most important reason is they met and started dating when the timing was right for both of them.

How to feel confident in relationships

Life’s a team game. Your happiness depends on the quality of your relationships with your romantic partners, friends and family members, doesn’t it? Happiness is priceless. Life’s too short to waste time lacking confidence, especially as there are secrets you can discover to help you turn your difficult relationships into fulfilling, confident and fun ones. Here are a few ideas...

-Trust again after a previous break up.
-Clear unhappy and previous relationships out of your mind. Enjoy the present.
-Choose the right time (and way) to end a relationship. Avoid being impulsive.
-Partake in more supportive, fun and loving relationships. Stay away from the abusive ones.
-Get what you need without having to nag, sulk, cry or get angry. :-D
-Understand the opposite sex for they are extremely different. Enjoy the differences instead of arguing about them.

the chase is always better than the catch

I've said it before, I'll said it again. The chase is always better than the catch.

Whether they're willing to admit it or not- girls love the chase. They love guys chasing after them and they love chasing after the guys, too. "That's the best part of liking someone," a 21-year-old Towson female says. "It's fun whenever a guy plays hard to get and it's fun playing hard to get towards a guy. Once the chase is over and you actually catch them, well, it gets kind of boring."

Sad, but true. I'd have to agree with her. Once you get what you want, you don't really want it anymore.

Guys are the same way. Guys love chasing girls, multiple girls at one time. They love to think that a girl is just out of their reach and if they push a bit harder, they can catch her. However, once a girl becomes too interested in them, they lose interest.

My advice to both girls and guys: if you want to keep someone interested, don't act interested.

Breaking up is hard to do

With the semester coming to an end and many students preparing to graduate and go down their own road, a lot of changes begin to uproar. Relationships usually end, it's tough to make things work if you want two separate things.


For example, my roommate and her boyfriend met here at Towson University and have been dating for 2 years. With both of them being seniors, Emily plans to move to New York City for an internship and Sean plans to move to D.C. for a job. They want to stay together- but they feel their new lives will slowly drift them apart.

Relationships are hard work, especially when both people in that relationship are trying to establish their life. The only advice I can give to my roommate and her boyfriend- or anyone in this situation is do what makes you happy until it doesn't make you happy anymore. If it doesn't work out, odds are things will turn out the way it's supposed to.

Meeting someone in a bar part II

After bringing the topic of bar hopping and relationships to the table, it made me wonder whether this habit is a positive or negative one. I think the key thing to remember in this scenario is it's all about confidence. I can't personally say whether it's a good or a bad idea to meet someone in bar because it depends on the situation and the person.

I asked a couple college girls on they're opinion of meeting a guy at a bar. All of them said the only thing you will get from meeting a guy at a bar is a one-night stand. However, some girls are into that.

I asked a couple college males on their take on meeting a girl in a bar. Most of them said it's very unlikely to meet a girl at a bar that will turn into a relationship. One in particular said, "girls only go to the bar for one reason.. to dance. And they dance very slutty. No guy in their right mind would think, 'yeah, that's what I want my next girlfriend to be like.'"

Meeting someone in a bar

It's a Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday (pick a day of the week) night on a college campus. The odds are, you're most likely going to a bar to drink. But are you really going to a bar to JUST drink? Probably not. Odds are you're going to a bar to possibly meet someone. The question is: WHY? Do people honestly think they're going to meet their future husband or wife in a drunken, sweaty grinding session at the local college pub? Not so hot, in my opinion.

What I can say, is that most people let their walls down and like to flirt while they are at the bar. The tease and the attention makes breaking the ice a bit easier. However, I can't see "combing the bars" to look for someone who shares your interests... especially if you're not a bar person (like myself). In my opinion, you don't know if you're talking to the actual person's real personality, or the alcohol in their system.

If you are looking for a serious relationship, don't venture to a college bar to find one. Now if you're looking for a one-night stand or someone to distract your lonliness, a college bar is the ticket.

Girls <3 the jerks

Every day, my male friends complain to me that girls always like jerks. So I decided to interview one in particular who has told me this multiple times. This interview is between myself and my friend, Jimi Payne, a senior at Towson University. This is his personal outlook on girls, relationships and dating.

1. What type of girl do you prefer to date?
A: I prefer to date girls that have an outgoing and friendly personality. I would be lying if I said I like dating pretty girls, what boy doesn't? However, brains count a lot for me because if the girl can't hold an intelligent conversation, then I lose interest mentally and it becomes just a physical attraction. I like pretty eyes and smile. I am attracted to all "flavors" of women, but I do have a little bit of yellow fever (haha).

2. What's the difference in dating a "nice" girl or a "bad" girl? (we know there's a difference)
A: You date a nice girl and wait until she is ready to get physical. You hang out and hook up with a bad girl. The hard part is figuring out if she is nice or bad before getting emotionally involved. Girls can be sneaky, especially beautiful ones because they know they can get away with things due to their looks.

3. Why do you think girls always go for the jerks?
A: Jerks tell girls what they want to hear and girls fall for it. I also think girls like the challenge of changing a guy or making him fall in love, which rarely happens and we guys know it. Jerks have "game," so it's easy for them to play girls. Girls also have a bad habit of liking or going for boys with girlfriends, some boys take advantage of this situation. Women are confusing and complicated.

4. Do you think it pays off to be a nice guy? Or do nice guys always finish last?
A: It pays off to be a nice guy with a nice girl. Apart from that, Hell NO. Be a gentleman, but don't be a push over because most girls will use you or just take you for a ride and spend your money and leave your heart and wallet broke. I know this will sounds horrible, but most of the boys I know that are/were faithful to their girlfriends got cheated on or played in some way (I am one of them). The ones that cheated are going out with the same girl or have another steady girlfriend. So, yes, nice guys definitely finish last.

5. Would you consider yourself a "nice" guy?
A: I am a nice guy at heart, but it's broken now so I'm going to try this being a jerk thing for a while to see if I can find me a girl. In the end, my nice guy will come out.


Thanks Jimi!!

Male & Female: What's the difference?

Males and females have two completely different outlooks on relationships and dating. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a guy told me they don't understand girls, well, I wouldn't have a full-time job while in college, that's for sure. I asked a 23-year-old Towson University male about why they think girls and guys are so different when it comes to relationships. These were the main points that I got from him:


-Girls like to deal with situations a lot differently then guys do and different is hard for most guys to take.

-Girls approach situations in completely different manner then guys do which doesn't help either. If we all had the same outlook on situations it would make things easier, but less interesting.

-Most guys just want to get to the point and not have a huge discussion over a fight or a situation, where as a girl wants to involve their feelings, thoughts and go over the complete situation before coming to an conclusion.

-Girls remember details very differently than guys do, too which always plays a part in reconstructing a situation.

What's so great about a relationship, anyways?

Being in love is great. Butterflies, tingles, everything. But personally, I love my freedom... especially when in college! We have all the time in the world to be tied down, so why do we constantly push to find that special someone? I can't seem to understand why girls AND guys go on match.com when they're in college. I know a handful of college students who are on match.com- what is the rush?? Enjoy your single life, enjoy dating, enjoy your friends. You have all the time in the world to be in love and fight with your significant other all the time. Everyone knows the whole point of having a relationship in college is so you have someone to yell at when you're drunk. To me, that doesn't sound like a good enough reason to waste away the best four years of your life.

Dating or Relationship??

It seems to me that everytime a college couple moves from dating to being in a relationship... the romance dwindles. It recently happened to a friend of mine...and now that I think about it... it happened with my boyfriend and I, too. The more I think about it, the more I understand it. When you're dating someone, there are no rules, no expectations- just two people enjoying each other's company. Now when you actually put a title on your relationship, such as girlfriend and boyfriend, tension starts to arise. The couple has more expectations of one another and they feel as if they have authority of one another, too. And when that happens- the arguing begins!!

So, I'm curious- why don't couples just date instead of putting a title on their relationship? Why ruin the fun??

Are all girls crazy? A males opinion

Girls are crazy, so men say. Fine, but what makes us so crazy? Here are 6 reasons why college males say all girls are SO crazy:

1. They always think you're either cheating on them or lying to them- even when you're not!
2. They call you over and over until you answer the phone and send you mean text messages in between calls.
3. They get attached too quickly.
4. They always want to know where you are... AT ALL TIMES!
5. They do everything and anything to make you jealous.
6. They go through your phone- text messages, outgoing/incoming calls, EVERYTHING.

60 things girls need to know about guys

I came across this article on Facebook today and I thought it was hilarious and very true... 60 things girls need to know about guys

It's interesting and refreshing because it was written by two guys from London, so it is based on what guys want girls to know, rather than what girls THINK they know.

Let me know what you guys think...

The laid back girl

"Laid back girls are the best kind of girls." I can't tell you how many times I hear that statement come out of a males mouth. I decided it was time to set the record straight.

I asked 3 college guys what type of girls they liked and they all said a girl who's laid back: a girl who doesn't have a lot of attitude, agreeable, likes to hang out with the guys, doesn't start unnecessary drama, no high-maintenance, someone who rolls with the punches, someone who laughs at herself and most importantly.. "she knows when and when not to talk."

Compliments- not always complimenting

As girls, we love getting compliments... You have great hair, beautiful skin, sparkling eyes... we're suckers for that kind of BS. Guys, on the other hand, I'm not so sure about.

A good male friend of mine (22 years old) brought this question to my attention. He just recently started dating this girl and she constantly compliments him. "You're so hot, you've got a great body- great shoulders, great back." His reaction to these constant compliments was something like this, "JUST CHILL- I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT- YOU ARE TRYING TOO HARD, MY EGO IS BIG ENOUGH. YOU LOOK PATHETIC." Needless to say he didn't exactly handle the situation very well.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, complains that I don't compliment him enough. So I ask all you male readers out there... Compliments: friend or foe??

"There are some weird girls at this school"

This morning, I was eavesdropping on a few guys having a conversation in the Towson University Union. My attention was grabbed when one of them shouted, "There are some WEIRD girls at this school." He continued to tell his friends why he felt this way. He said that this one girl he was "hooking up" with said weird things to him that he didn't like. Such as, she text messaged him and said "I hope it rains tomorrow because I think you look sexy when you're all wet." The boy said- "I've only been seeing her for 2 weeks, I wouldn't even want my girlfriend of 2 years to say that to me."

His buddies laughed- but he continued his story. He went on to tell another story about a girl who told him that she never met a guy who hasn't been that interested in her and it was weird for her. "I told her to get used to it because if she keeps saying things like that to guys, it's going to become a endless cycle."

Juggling girls instead of apples

I had a conversation with my cousin, Tim last night. He never has a girlfriend, so I asked him if he was seeing anyone special lately. He responded with, "Well... I stopped texting Lauren, Britney got psycho and Nicole is too easy. So- nope, no one right now."

Speechless, I asked him- how do you think you can get away with talking to 3 girls at once? He replied, "Easy, I'm adorable and they're all in different sororities."

Though I do agree that he is adorable, I couldn't decipher the thought of all those poor girls looking like a fool at the same time. Why isn't one girl enough for a guy to get his female fix?

Do you use protection?

College students love to mix alcohol and sex. The two go hand and hand. So I'm curious- how often do college students use protection when having casual sex? I asked 5 girls and 5 boys if they would be interested in telling me how often they use protection. These were the results:

The Guys: 3 out of 5 of them say they ALWAYS use protection- drunk or sober. Their reasoning was they know too many friends who have caught STDs. Plus, they are nowhere close to ready to being a father. The other 2 said they rarely use protection when they're drunk, but almost always when they're sober. Their reasoning was they either forget or they just don't care.

The Girls: 4 out of 5 of them say they use protection every time they have sex, unless they are in a serious relationship. If they trust their boyfriend isn't cheating on them and they're on birth control, then they feel no reason why they should have to wear a condom. The 5th girl, however, admits that sometimes she doesn't use condoms- but only because she forgets to bring one.

HPV: Stop the Epidemic

Casual sex couldn't become more casual on college campuses. With students willing to be more sexually adventurous today, they forget the negative effects that can come along with their choices. Millions of college students are being infected by a STD called Human Papillomavirus (HPV). HPV is among the most contagious sexually transmitted diseases in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, an estimated 20 million people are currently infection with HPV.

Those people most at risk are high school and college students. The California Medical Association Foundation says that 60% of sexually active females are infected with HIV.

Because this number is so high and so many college students are sexually active, it's extremely important to follow the rules of safe sex. It's impossible for males to be tested for HPV so I have 3 words for you: Condoms, condoms, condoms!!!

STD Awareness Month

Did you know that April is STD Awareness Month? Probably not seeing as it's not the most exciting thing to celebrate. I'm not sure many cities or towns hold parades with condom floats rolling down the streets with people shouting "Yay! Herpes!"

While it's not the most fun thing to celebrate, STD awareness is very important.

During this time, the Iowa Department of Public Health (IDPH) is joining partners nationwide in a new campaign called Get Yourself Tested or "GYT." The campaigns intent is to use television and the Internet to help young people understand the risk of HIV and other STD's.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 19 million STD infections occur each year in the U.S. Of that number, almost half are diagnosed in young people ages 15 to 24.

My previous long distance relationship

When I first came to Towson as a freshman, I was in a relationship with someone from high school. He was still living at home in Pennsylvania- roughly an hour away from each other. No big deal, I thought.

The day after I left for college, he cheated on me. I didn't find out from him, but from a friend. OUCH. The worst part is that I decided to give him a second chance. Our relationship from there on out was a disaster. He didn't have any respect for me... and why should he? I let him get away with cheating on me. He never made any effort to visit me. I did all the traveling and I was the one in college- not him! Eventually, I became tired of being in a relationship that was one-sided.

By the end of my freshman year, I said goodbye to my love-addiction. We never spoke again, and it took me a very long time to realize that he was not worth everything I thought he once was.

My long distance relationship

While studying abroad in Australia last semester, I met a Canadian, Chad, who I fell for instantly. We were inseparable the entire 5 months I was abroad and saying good-bye was heartbreaking. I went to visit him in Toronto a few weeks after I got back from Australia and we decided that we wanted to give this relationship a try. 6 months later, we are still together and very happy. We take turns visiting each other once a month and we talk to each other many times a day. Though it's hard, I've never met someone more compatible for me and sometimes that's enough to hold on to.

Long distance relationships

It's hard enough to make local relationships work, but having miles, states and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here's how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.

1. Make sure you are both clear on what the terms are. If you don't want your boyfriend/girlfriend seeing other people, make sure you establish that from the start.

2. Communicate in some way every day. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection.

3. Take advantage of the benefits. Spend more time with your friends and family. No arguments over toothpaste caps or the seat being down. The pleasure of seeing your significant other again after a long absence. Most important, being apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality.

4. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference.

5. Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of long distance is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content.

6. Remember... things can only get better!

The rule of friends and ex's

There's an unspoken rule between girls that states you never date a friend's ex-boyfriend. So what happens when a friend breaks this rule?

Over Easter weekend, I found out that one of my friends asked my ex-boyfriend to take her to her sorority formal. She goes to school in Virginia my ex-boyfriend goes to school in Pennsylvania. When my ex-boyfriend told me he was going to take her to her formal over the weekend, I was shocked. Mainly because, well, they barely know each other and she didn't even have the decency to tell me herself.

Should I be angry at her for not asking my permission? Should I be angry at my ex-boyfriend for taking her? Should I be worried that there's something going on between them that I don't know about? All of these questions and thoughts controlled my mind all weekend and I still don't know how to react to this situation.

Yes, I have another boyfriend. I've moved on. Still, it's the principle... isn't it?

Good friends vs. romantic emotions

I have a conundrum for you.

It was my second semester at college. The first day of one of my classes, I met this guy, Zach. It was pretty obvious from the start that he had an enormous crush on me. But at the time, I had a boyfriend, Teddy. So obviously nothing magical was going to happen between us. A month or so later, Zach came with me to a bar. There he met my best friend, Jackie. The two hit it off immediately and were making out halfway into the night. A month later, they were inseparable. After they started dating, Teddy and I broke up. Zach found out and began asking me to hang out since we lived in the same dorm.

Once, Zach tried kissing me, I stopped him because, duh, he was dating my best friend. He told me he always liked me and Jackie was just a back-up. He broke up with Jackie and asked me out on a date. I wanted to say yes, but Jackie was heart-broken. Never again did I talk to Zach and Jackie and I are still best friends. Yet, I've always wondered what could have been...

So how do you decide when dating a friends x-boyfriend is acceptable or not??

You're turning down a date??

My roommate came home from a bar a few nights ago. She woke me up at 2:30 a.m. because she apparently had the craziest story to tell me. Thinking it was going to be a funny bar story, she tell ms that some guy came up to her at a bar, told her she was beautiful and that he would love to take her out to dinner sometime.

"I laughed in his face and walked away," she says.

Confused, I asked her why. She said she thought he was creepy and weird because he asked her out on an actual DATE.

"No one does that anymore," she says.

After I went back to sleep even more confused about dating than I already was... I realized... wow, girls might actually be worse than guys.

Drive of shame?

I went to a wedding this past weekend for one of my friends from high school. It was a beautiful wedding that ended with a headache the next morning. I woke up the next morning from a phone call from one of the bridesmaids. I could barely hear her because she was whispering and then I finally heard it: "Shh.. I can't talk loud. I'm in one of the groomsman's hotel rooms... which one? I have NO idea!" She wanted someone to talk to as she snuck out of the room, still in her bridesmaid's dress, and committing the "drive of shame" back to her house. Drive of shame... now that's a new one!

THE "walk of shame"

The walk of shame. Every experimental college co-ed has done it. Every tentative tight-wad has endeavored it. In college, the walk of shame is virtually a right of passage. It is a symbol of a student’s courage and audacity. It’s the reason a lot of males go to college. It is the reason a lot of fathers spurn their daughters going off to school. The walk of shame brings a moment of shame and humility; while at the same time, it can be a testament to one’s pride and self-gratification.

A one night stand turns into an embarrassing morning. You wake up confused, next to (basically) a complete stranger, usually hung-over and wondering how you will get home. You don't want to talk to the guy or girl sleeping next to you because... well... you might be afraid of who they are or what they look like. Therefore, you walk back from their apartment to your apartment, in the clothes from the night before- your hair's a mess and everyone knows where (or should I say what) you were coming from.

Why is it always sex...

Party, drinks, party, drinks, party....sex?? That seems to be the way things happen these days in the world of college dating. Single girls wonder why they can't meet a guy out at a party or a local college bar without him hinting that he'd like to take her home-- on the first night! Some guys think they're being sincerely honest by telling a girl she's attractive and he'd like to bring her home with him. You gotta give those guys credit for being so blunt, but these aren't the men looking for a committed relationship. But then again, the girls who go home with them aren't obviously looking for one either. Ladies, don't act so innocent.

Let's be honest... the majority of college students, both girls and boys, get drunk and go out to the bar in hopes to meet someone to take home with them. It's like a nightly cycle: Get drunk with your friends and go out to a bar or party with the goal of bringing someone home and having that awkward conversation in the morning. While you embark on the infamous "walk of shame" (or if you're lucky the "drive of shame") after the drunken hook-up, you wonder if you will ever talk to that person ever again... and do you ever talk to those people again? What do you guys think??

Sex on the first date

This past weekend, one of my roommates went out on a date with a guy for the first time. She met him recently and hung out with him a couple of times. Never an official date, but they have hung out before. The date went really well, so she decided to bring him back to our apartment and they ended up sleeping together. The problem is, she really likes him, so now she's afraid she's screwed things up by sleeping with him on the first date.

Her dilemma was brought to my attention, and then I realized that this is a common question for almost every girl even if they end up sleeping with someone on the first date or not. Is it really that bad to sleep with someone on the first date?

This depends on both the girl and the guy. Some girls are comfortable with it, some girls aren't. Some guys will think a girl is easy if they sleep with them immediately, some guys won't. I don't think it's necessarily bad, but if you’re going to make some intentional decisions to get off on the right foot, then sleeping with someone on the first date isn’t one of them. Yes, even if the chemistry is that good. Flaubert (old French author) believed that anticipation is the purest form of pleasure – and the most reliable.

In the final chapter of the Sentimental Education, Flaubert writes about two old friends sitting around remembering the best thing that never happened to them. Flaubert said the things that happen to you invariably disappoint, the things that never happen would never dim, never fade. We’ll always remember them fondly.

So, put off the sex as long as you want. Not only will the anticipation make the other person want you that much more, but it will be a form of pleasure all it’s own.

First date jitters

First dates are always toughies. You spend hours persuing your closet for the perfect first date ensemble only to come to the realization that you don't like anything you've tried on and must therefore spend another few hours perusing the mall. Just when you think deciding on an outfit is stressful, once the date night actually arrives, it's time to start worrying about the other aspects of the evening: what will you talk about, will it be awkward, deciding on a goodnight kiss or maybe even a good-morning kiss...depending on how good the date is. Being nervous on a date is normal, but it's how to overcome those first date nerves that everyone wants to know.

Here are some ways that will help you overcome the fears of going for that first date again:

1. Make it a group date, that way you're not alone. If the date's bad, you have someone there with you in case you need to come up with an excuse to run.

2. Engage in phone conversations or at least emails before you meet for the first time. Get to know tihs person a little before rushing into a one-on-one date. This way, you already have things to talk about.

3. Keep the first date short and simple. You want to make things very casual, such as catching a movie or bowling and calling it an early night. 2-3 hours is enough time to feel sparks or not.

4. Make small talk. If you feel as if you're running out of things to talk about, ask your date about their favorite hobbies, brothers or sisters, pets, etc. Awkward silence is the absolute date from hell.

5. Most importantly, BE YOURSELF. You want to make sure your date likes you for you and not someone else. If you pretend to be someone your not for the sake of having a successful date, your 2nd or 3rd date will be an absolute bust.

What's the deal with dating games?

After addressing the concept of dating games in college, I decided to interview a female student about her perception of dating games. The following interview is with 22-year-old Towson University student, Jackie Cribbs.

1. In your opinion, what is the definition of "playing games" in dating/relationships?

Playing games in dating/relationships basically consists of saying or doing something to the other person to throw them off and get a desired reaction out of them. Usually, it's during the beginning of a relationship or if you are casually dating someone.


2. Why do you think people play games in dating/relationships?

I think many times people play games when they don't necessarily want to settle down with someone but they still want to have that person consistently in their life. Or, if they want to appear as if they have more going on in their life then that other person, and maybe they want the person to wonder where they are and what they are doing.

3. Would you say, generally, more guys or girls play games? Why?

I would say girls, only because girls tend to worry and over analyze things that a guy says or does. Many times, that results in playing games to get a guy to understand or react a way that a girl wants.

4. Can you give some examples of how girls play games with guys? Examples of how guys play games with girls?

I think girls play games with guys a lot when they don't feel like they are getting the attention that they need. Sometimes girls try to make guys jealous by flirting with another guy while making sure that their guy can see what is going on. Or many times, they wont answer phones/texts just to get a guy a little scared.
Guys tend to act like they don't care and play it cool to make a girl wonder. They almost play hard to get because they know girls are more interested in someone that they can't figure out versus someone that is all over them.

5. Do you think the concept of dating games increased when you got to college?

No, not really. I think the more mature you become the easier it is to communicate with a person or to not completely over analyze things they do. Therefore, two people don't have to play games to get what they want out of the other person.

7 Deadly Sins of Dating

Yvonne Fulbright

In the dating world, especially college dating, there are certain things you just don't do. Okay, to be fair (ladies), we all do them- but we wish there had been someone there to tell us not to. After reading the book "Sex with your EX" by Yvonne Fulbright, I came across the 7 biggest dating sins for all the world to see and avoid.

The 7 deadly dating sins represent 7 mistakes that women commonly make when in the start of a new relationship. Some of the problems seem like bigger problems now than they may have been before. I believe that the act of courting and dating has not fully gone away- we've just lost in touch of what it is.

1. Getting intimate too soon. The act of dating and courting leads up to getting intimate and this is why I believe getting intimate too soon is much more of a problem now than before. The emotional aspect may have been there before, but it didn't include all of the emotions that come with having sex so early in dating. The act of dating has become more sexual than before, where before dating was about finding a soul mate.

2. Letting people in too fast. Don't rush into telling someone how you feel, it may end up kicking you in the butt.

3. Information overload. This is the hardest issue most women face. Don't constantly bother the guy you're interested in. This is going to make them run for the hills. Be subtle.

4. Spying. Trust someone until they give you a reason not to. Don't go through their e-mails, cell phone, text messages, etc. You'll lose them before you have them.

5. Faking interest or passion. Be real, be yourself.

6. Expecting them to be who you want them to be. You need to learn to accept people for who they are, love them for who they are. If you want them to change for YOU, you don't really want to be with them (and they won't want to be with you, either!)

7. Forgetting who you are. Don't ever strain away from your individuality. Stay true to yourself and your own personal needs. If you forget this important quality, the relationship will never work in the long-run.

Game playing is for kids- Not relationships

Last night, I was up late talking to my roommate about her guy problems. Very late. She's been seeing this guy on and off for a few months where they'll hang out once and then she won't hear from him for weeks. Every time they spend time together, she thinks it will be different this time because her feelings grow stronger and stronger. Yet, he never answers her calls or text messages for a couple of weeks. While listening to her situation, it occurred to me, no matter how old we get, people never stop playing dating games.

Looking back in retrospect, when I was in high school, the idea of "playing games" while in a relationship was basically considered a school sport. Everyone knew about the game and the rules of the game- they were just different for each sex. Trying to figure out how the person of the opposite sex was playing the game was part of the fun. I thought by college relationships would have matured and people would have grown up. Well, maybe not.

I've found that not only do people still play dating games in college- it's gotten even worse than high school. Because now, people aren't just playing games while in relationships, they're playing games with those people they consider a "friend with benefits" or someone they're just hooking up with from time to time. The game has gotten more complex than ever before and the rules, well, that's a whole different ball-game.

Downfalls of friends with benefits

It's supposed to be the ultimate easy relationship- someone you already know, trust and have fun with...and now you get to make out too? Sounds perfect, doesn't it? Maybe in a make-believe world where there were no such things as feelings. Friends with benefits have the same worry of one partner becoming more attached than the other. The ambiguous nature of the relationship also decreases openness and coincides with a lack of passion and commitment. Sounds to me like "relationships without all the good stuff" would be a better name for it.

In my four years in college, I've never seen a friends with benefits relationship turn grey. Though many college students don't see it this way, I firmly believe that this is an extremely complicated relationship where at least one person wants more from the relationship. What's good for one person isn't necessarily always good for the other, even though they might think it is in the beginning. Someone always catches feelings.

Furthermore, if you are currently friends with this person and decide to take it to the next level, just for fun, having casual sex most likely will ruin your friendship permanently. Now you've lost a good friend in addition to being rejected by a person you've fallen for.

Seriously...what is so great about this so-called "perfect" agreement that always ends in nothing but tears?

Any benefit to friends with benefits?

The most positive point about being friends with benefits is the availability of easy sex, without all the pressures of being in a committed relationship. This situation works best if both people clarify their situation before going into it. Both people must know that it's solely about sex- therefore, he or she cannot accuse the other person of using them because they both acknowledged their status from the start. Because, let's be honest, both people are in fact using each other.


It leaves the door open for other relationships. If you're not officially dating someone and only having casual sex, the odds are you don't really have strong feelings for then. Therefore, you can still get what you "need" and keep looking for other people- or even date other people- in the mean time.


This type of relationship could leave to a long-lasting relationship. If you're already good friends, and you trust each other, why not take it to the next level? Have you ever heard a couple in college who have been dating for a long period of time say, "He/she is my best friend!" A good friend really respects you. A good friend really cares about you. A good friend is someone you actually enjoy spending all your time with. Many people in college believe that you'll never find a more honest relationship than a friends with benefits relationship because you know exactly what you're in the relationship for.

Friends with benefits: No one gets hurt?

If you're in college then you've heard this before: Friends are friends, pals are pals and buddies sleep together. I'm not quite sure what it means, but I think this adage is used to describe friendships that are, shall we say, more than platonic. I'm talking about sex buddies- also known as "friends with benefits."

I've discovered that people who are friends with benefits usually have an unspoken agreement to have casual sex without ever pursuing a romantic relationship outside the bedroom. Though this term is a fairly new one to my ears, it seems to be a very popular term used throughout college campuses. If a guy and a girl are single and just friends, sometimes they decide to take their relationship to the next level- just for fun- without all the trappings of an actual relationship. Friends with benefits seems to be easier at first, but are the negatives that come along with this type of relationship worth the promise of casual sex?

Ambiguous Language

I've stressed the complications of dating in college- and just when I thought it couldn't get more complicated, I realized this concept only grows deeper with language. Just talking, hooking-up, friends with benefits and then there's my favorite- open relationships. These words are all used to avoid the dreaded concept of commitment. When did the simple word dating become so complex? Peter Osinski, 22-year-old Towson senior has been "hooking up" with a girl for over two years. Not dating, hooking up. He says that he doesn't want to give his relationship an actual title because he wants to keep his options open.

The ever unclear "hooking up" seems to be the most widespread phrase favored by college students. I hear it everywhere. A 2001 study of college women sponsored by the Independent Women's Forum, an advocacy group, found that "hooking up" was defined as when "a girl and a guy get together for a physical encounter and don't necessarily expect anything further," with the definition of a physical encounter ranging anywhere from kissing to having sex. My thoughts? Booty Call!

Whatever happened to college dating?

In the world of 2009, the word dating is not in the vocabulary of many college students. It's very uncommon for a girl to be asked out on a date from a college male- no longer is the male expected to pick up a female from her house and take her to dinner and a movie. No longer is the male even expected to be the one who initiates the so-called date. These unspoken changes, though every girl talks about them, have made me question whether the traditional game of dating is officially dead.

After interviewing random Towson students about their definition of dating, I found that some students feel that dating isn't officially dead, it's just become more casual. A 21-year-old Towson female senior says, "dating today is a lot more informal, where dinner and movie used to be the norm. Nowadays, meeting a guy for lunch on campus or planning to meet at the bar on the weekend is as close as I've gotten to dating since enrolling in college."

Sad, but true. I have friends in college who have been seeing a guy for over a year and they still don't consider themselves a couple- it's almost as if the term "boyfriend and girlfriend" is too serious and scary for them to admit.

In my opinion, no one wants to put forth the effort into dating anymore- though I know for some students (especially females) this isn't their idea of an ideal relationship. But then again, is there even such thing as an ideal relationship??

Togetherness is a intricate concept

Before I delve into the world of togetherness, it helps to define what exactly dating is in a practical college sense. According to Emily Bois, a 21-year old Towson senior who is currently in a relationship, dating is when two people are in an exclusive, romantically driven relationship. However, Bois adds that what occurs in that specific relationship depends on each couple. The basic commonalities are simple, really: having dinner together off campus, seeing each other at least once a day, getting in drunken fights, telling everyone you're sick of each other (when in reality, you know you're not). We've all been there. But again, it differs from relationship to relationship.

College Dating: It's Complicated!

If you have ever heard this phrase spoken before, you either don't go to college, you're deaf, you're partially deaf or like I said before- you don't go to college. Because in this world full of kegs and one night stands- there is a phenomenon known as being "together" with someone. It's not dating, but it's more than just a random hook up. So what does it mean exactly? Throughout this blog, I will attempt to shed some light on this enigmatic yet prevalent concept of college "dating" as well as its benefits and drawbacks.